Me Mudder

For some strange reason, every time I think of Mother's Day, I think of the slightly off color poem, "Ode to Motherhood" (google it if you don't know to what I'm referring) and I walk around all week talking about "me mudder".  Though in all honesty, my mom has never been "mother" to me unless I was upset with her...you know, when kids got in trouble their middle names were invoked and in the same vein, when I was angry with my mom, I would call her "MOTHER" in the most disdainful and ugly tone I could muster.  No need to point it out; I know I was a mean little brat.  At any rate, to me, she's always been "Mom".  These days, however, she has morphed into "MopMop", as my nieces and nephews call her.  Even though I do not have children and the cats have not yet learned to speak the Queen's English, my husband and I still call her MopMop.  

With MopMop's day looming around the corner, I've started really thinking about my relationship with the poor woman that gave birth to me on her birthday 36 years ago.  Here are a few of my favorite things:

-Equality. I love, love, love my mom's M&M theory. I have adapted it as my own and try to adhere to it at all costs in work and life.  When my brothers and I were little and still believed in Santa, MopMop would stay up late into the night to fill our handmade stockings.  She would buy a one pound bag of M&Ms and divide it amongst the three of us.  But she wouldn't just eyeball it; she would sit at the table and count out the M&Ms to make sure we each had the exact same number of M&Ms.  While she maintains she did it so nobody squawked that "s/he has more than me!", I know the truth...she wanted to make sure that everyone got their fair and equal share.  So each busy Christmas Eve, after sending the grandmothers home, cleaning the kitchen,  shuffling the tired, optimistic and anxious kids to bed, making sure the cookies left out for Santa were properly nibbled on and crumbs placed accordingly and putting out the Santa gifts, she would sit at the kitchen table and painstakingly count out candy for us.  This is the M&M theory.  It's pretty simple and it makes sense...if one "kid" gets something, you have to make sure that all the other kids get the same thing or at least have the opportunity to get it. To this day, she sends me a check each month because she spends money on my brothers' kids and I don't have any.  I try to make sure I use the same principal.  Ask anyone who has ever worked for me and they'll tell you about the M&M theory.  If that's not paying it forward, I don't know what is.

-Fairness. Some of my favorite childhood memories are from the dates I used to have with my mom. If you have siblings or if you have more than one child, you know how hard it is for each kid to get special time with their mom.  MopMop had that all taken care of when we were kids.  Each Friday, the three of us would get to spend the night with my grandmother, Nanny Pete.  Each Saturday morning, MopMop would come and pick one of us up for a "date".  We'd get to go eat lunch at the restaurant of our choice and usually have a fun activity planned.  Sometimes, we'd just go home and watch TV together.  I used to look forward to every third Saturday like I had won some fantastic prize and actually, I guess I had.  Instead of keeping one day for herself, she made certain that each of us got to spend some quality time with her and her alone.  For a kid with two siblings, that's pretty special.  

-Laughter.  So much laughter.  MopMop is one of the funniest people I've ever known.  Anytime I was sad, I could always count on her to find the silver lining in the situation and then somehow get me to laugh about it.  Oh, and to make her laugh?  That is one of the best things EVER.  She has taught me that life is so much more special with a little laughter in it... and the more, the better.

-Love.  As I have previously mentioned, I was a brat. I used to poke her bruises. If I was grounded, I would annoy the sap out of her until she told me just to go outside.  I delighted in my younger brother's pranks on her.  No matter what, though, she always, always, always loved me-whether I deserved it or not.  I hear about some people whose mothers and fathers have disowned them for one reason or another. I know that no matter what I do, MopMop will always love me.  It's a pretty amazing feeling, really.  That knowledge has created a pretty interesting phenomena...instead of taking advantage of it, I always wanted to make her proud. As a result, I try to do the best I can in everything I do so she'll be happy with what I've done.  Oh, believe me, I've faltered.  I've done things that I just *knew* would make her change her mind.  But she never has.  

-Sharing.  It started with her birthday.  As I said, I was born on her birthday and for the past 36 years, it's been all about me.  She is the most unselfish person I've ever met.  Like the mother in Christmas Story, I don't think she ever had a single hot meal after getting married.  She makes certain that all of us have whatever we need.  She's shared her friendship, her creativity, her wit and charm and her incredibly sweet nature.  I know that I can talk about anything with her and more often than not, she's the first person I want to talk to about important things in my life.  She always has been, whether I told her so or not.  

So on this MopMop's day, I give this lame Ode to Me Mudder, such that it is.  MopMop, you've given to me so many things for which I will never be able to thank you.  While I've only listed a few of my favorites here, you are an amazing mother and even better, the perfect MopMop.  Thank you.  For everything.  :*